gnomicide

Fix WoW in Eleven Steps

2006-10-09T23:04:00.000-04:00

(A post I made on the WoW forums that will probably be lost instantly)

I don't like you, and you don't like me. So let's just do this.

"PUG" doesn't need to stand for "Punched in the Jewels"

Mercs? Cross-realm instance groups? Maybe. All I know is that right now a good LBRS group should be colored orange.

Player Housing

Blizzard keeps saying they need time to "get it right". That's not the Guns Blazing, Original-Honor-System (aka Death by PvP) releasing Blizzard I know. If you get it wrong, so what? That's why God gives us expansion packs.

Player Shops or an Enhanced AH

If you can't sell things quickly they can't be sold (or bought). Other items glut and disappear regularly. It gets old.

Some Gnome Love

No Gnome Healers, no Gnomeland. Come on.

Useless Vendors

There are so many ways to get gear ... why can't vendors be one? Would it kill the game balance if every level 30 got cool shoulders from a vendor? I'm tired of every vendor being an ocean of whiteness.

Enchant Your Alts

I know this is a popular request. I know we won't get it. But still I ask.

Official PvE Rankings

PvE progress is a big deal in the forums. Is a big deal for those involved, and a big deal for everyone who raids.

Why can't Bliz make a big deal about it?

Expand the quest log at max level

The twenty quest limit is a great idea. You get enough room to get the quests for an area or three and you don't get overwhelmed. You can focus on a few areas and a few quests.

Until you get to 60, when completing quests is no longer an issue of focus. You do things when you find a group. You do harder things when you find a good group. And when you find a group you end up dropping quests and picking up other ones. Why?

I Forget what this One Was

But it was awesome. So I'll just make it "Fix the forum software so it doesn't hose posts when a session expires".

Epic Cooking

Where are my Core Wings? (With apologies to Pratchett) My Dwarven Throwing Biscuits?

Admit grouping is not a Panacea

A large number of people head to an instance and kill a boss, who drops loot for a small number of people. Inevitably, Drama ensues.

Why does there have to be Drama? There are a thousand ways to "cut out the middle man", and make loot a transaction between the player and Bliz, without a raid or instance leader interfering. Why not?

I own Heroes of Might and Magic V

2006-05-24T21:03:00.000-04:00

I had to go to six stores but I finally found it.

The highlight were the two employees at the first store I visited, an ebgames.

Me : I'm looking for Heroes V, do you guys have it?
A : What game?
Me : Heroes V
B : Oh, that's right, Heroes IV I think it is.
Me : It would have come in today.
A : What is it again?
Me : Heroes V.
B : Yeah, I think it's Heroes IV.
A : (Checks on system, the same system that the guy looked at yesterday, and then told me they expected the game yesterday or today) I don't see it.
B : It might go by a subtitle, like that Warcraft game, "The Ice Age", I think it was.
Me : I don't know the subtitle, but it should be under "Heroes V"
A & B : Third Base!

After I installed Ubisoft's DirectX 9.0C (much better than my DirectX 9.0C, evidently), I was able to play. And it's fun. But the system requirements ... are rather high.

And these high system requirements gave me high expectations about the game.

But then there's the payoff. You actually feel like you are right there with a person that doesn't need to move their mouth to talk.

Speaking of technical enhancements, my compliments to the new Penny Arcade web page. It harnesses the Awesome Power of "Ruby on Rails" to hardly ever work.

The Final Hiatus

2006-02-16T17:36:00.000-05:00

I really enjoy writing.

For most of my life I didn't. But in the past few years I have come around.

So, three or four months ago, I decided to give it a shot. I would start writing regularly.

And I did, sometimes more regularly than others. I am not a great writer, but with some work, I thought, I could become better.

Four months later, I don't know that I am better. I don't know that I ever wrote anything memorable, even to me.

But it's kind of irrelevant. My day job is coding. If I want to do something fun and productive in my free time that I could eventually turn into some spare cash, I can either write prose (with lackluster proficiency) or I can write code (with moderate proficiency).

Here's the thing : good coders are way more valuable than good writers. And in the time it would take my writing to go from bad to good, my coding could go from good to ... well, the amount of effort it would take to make me a good writer would, applied to coding, make me the best programmer in the world.

And being a good coder makes me better at my day job.

So, my serious attempts at writing are over. I think I'll still try to post at least one entry a week. Toodles.

Turmoil in the Middle East

2006-02-06T20:19:00.000-05:00

The word "interesting" was first invented at a dinner party, as a polite way of describing the political state of the Middle East.

The latest barrel of laughs came courtesy of a series of cartoons published in a Danish newspaper which were, evidently, wildly heretical.

Embassies have been attacked. Buildings have been burned down. Businesses have been closed. People have been killed.

I think I'm on the same wavelength as many other bloggers when I say : why couldn't my blog have touched off all this violence?

Here's how it would work. I say something dangerously blasphemous, like "I bet Mohammed would really enjoy playing video games." Then there are riots and I go into hiding. And then I get a ten million dollar book deal and I blame all my problems on the US government. Everybody Wins.

My new tabletop game : BumKiller!

2006-01-31T22:14:00.000-05:00

There's been a recent, worldwide rash of gang attacks on bums. Or, perhaps, a recent, worldwide rash of reporting of already frequent gang attacks on bums.

According to gamepolitics, people are quick to blame these beatings on videogames.

As always, there's one sticky wicket -- there isn't actually a game that allows you to get a gang of people together and beat defenseless homeless people to death.

Until Now.

I'd like to announce my new tabletop game, BumKiller!

What you need to play BumKiller! :
5 players
one six-sided die

The rules :
Every player rolls the die, and the player to the right of the highest roll is the "Bum". All the other players are the "Emo Teens".

The first "Emo Teen" that beats the "Bum" to death wins the game. You beat the bum by rolling the dice.

These are what the die rolls do :

1 - Swing at Bum and miss
2 - Swing at Bum and miss
3 - Swing at Bum and miss
4 - Swing at Bum and miss
5 - Swing at Bum and miss
6 - Listen to Emo and Die

So, now, everytime you hear about people beating a bum to death, remember, they are only doing it because I invented this game.

The Traitor

2006-01-23T19:41:00.000-05:00

I tried blogging somewhere else today.

Behold!

My first day in City of Villains

2006-01-19T15:23:00.000-05:00

The first hour or two of every new RTS is always painful. It takes a while to sort out the units, buildings and the commands.

You can jump right into action games and shooters. Instead of farting around in another blasted RTS tutorial, you can kill things right away.

Learning a new MMORPG's is the worst. It takes a couple days to even be able to play a new game.

I'm in the difficult, boring part of City of Villains right now.

For an added bonus, every time you start the game this updater runs first. And no matter how much I fool around with my router, it doesn't work very well. I eventually found a way on the forums to skip the updater on the forums. But without that, the game was unplayable.

Picking a new subscription game

2006-01-18T22:03:00.000-05:00

I have needs, after all.

There are three games I'm looking at, right now.

EVE Online - I checked out the 14-day free trial. Not the best game ever, but still a good amount of fun. I'm a sucker for space games.

Laser Squad Nemesis - Not an MMO. A play-by-email strategy game written by some of the X-COM guys.

I've played the demo several times. Pretty cool. I'm a little worried about the time commitment of an email game. Not that it is too much time or too little, but that I can't control the time I spend on a day-to-day basis. If I am playing 4 games, I have to take 4 turns most of the time when I play. I can't take time off. But, if I'm only playing one game, I can't really play more, unless I want to start a new game.

City of Villains - The only one without a free trial or demo. The only one of the three with a mandatory retail purchase. The one that will cost $100 since I'll drag my wife into it.

So, anyway, my name is Mr. Style. I am the Scourge of the Fashionless.

Why I never beat X-Com : UFO Defense

2006-01-17T21:41:00.000-05:00

It's a great game. But, ultimately, the core mechanic gets a little old.

Tactical turn-based combat is fun. Coming out of a transport and blasting aliens from a downed UFO is fun. Unfortunately, doing it 100 times is not 100 times more fun. It gets old. It would probably get old even if it wasn't the same battle over and over.

This time, I eventually started ignoring the tactical encouters to speed things up.

I won.

On difficulty and XCOM : UFO Defense

2006-01-16T16:04:00.000-05:00

At first, there is nothing. The earth rests in tranquility.

You see, I've just started a new game of X-COM : UFO Defense. I dug up my old Collector's Edition copy and downloaded a 3rd party patch from here. Since I'm rusty, I start a game on "Ridiculously Easy", or whatever they call the easiest of the five difficulty levels.

I place my base and then wait. The earth is tranquil, blah blah blah.

Then I receive a warning. A UFO has been spotted. A single red X skitters across North America. I launch an intercept. A yellow X emerges from my base and angles towards the UFO. The X's intersect and air combat begins.

I don't remember the controls exactly, but I remember enough to down the UFO. With that taken care of, I send my operative-laden transport to the crash site.

My transport lands, and I carefully deploy my soldiers, one by one, and click the "End of Turn" button.

A single alien emerges from an unexplored portion of the map and fires a Blaster Bomb at my soldiers, killing all eight. Since all my soldiers are dead, I also lose my transport. Good game.

A question about Bob Marley

2006-01-14T12:13:00.000-05:00

Does any Bob Marley song really need to be longer than about 15 seconds?

Everything I Love Must Be Destroyed

2006-01-13T21:40:00.000-05:00

At least when it comes to tv shows. Let's review.

Live Action The Tick
Awesome. Cancelled.

Andy Richter Controls The Universe
Transcendant. Cancelled.

Home Movies
Freaking Awesome. Cancelled twice.

Venture Brothers
Best tv show ever. Almost Cancelled.

Stroker and Hoop
Hilarious. Probably will be cancelled.

Futurama
They never actually got it on TV. Cancelled.

Arrested Development
That jetpack episode was the best sitcom episode ever. You better believe it got cancelled.

Simpsons
Awesome. Still around, but not as funny

Family Guy
Huge. Cancelled once.

UK Coupling
Was fantastic until Jeff left after season three. Who cares whether or not it's been cancelled?

Ren & Stimpy
Cancelled for all intents and purposes after the first two seasons, when it started to suck. Cancelled for real after like seven more painful seasons.

Just a note here : if you're a comedy writer, disgusting things are not funny. Ok, they are funny sometimes. For every ten gross-out jokes you make, one is funny. Build your entire series around gross-out jokes (aka Ren & Stimpy after season 2) and I will track you down and kick you hard in your face.

The Life

2006-01-12T17:02:00.000-05:00

My DVD player went to that big through my window in the sky over the weekend.

While I was at Best Buy picking up a replacement, some crazy man (not me) bought the second season of Home Movies on DVD.

Home Movies rocks.

On Mainstreamization

2006-01-11T20:54:00.000-05:00

According to this article at The Escapist, Mainstreamization is a word.

At least, it's a made up word that you would use. Like, not one you would make up, and then avoid.

The advent of that unfortunate word came about because, you see, the mainstream causes video games to suck. So many people like video games, and spend money on them, that they get worse. Money makes everything worse. Wait, how does money make things worse?

When I was young, I had my first harrowing encounter with The Dread Pirate Mainstreamization. You see, I grew up in a small town. The only establishment that sold new video games in my small town was the (now defunct) Ames Department Store.

My brother and I enjoyed playing the video games. My brother even subscribed to Nintendo Power. And so we could read about cool video games in Nintendo Power, and then go out and buy them at Ames, right?

Wrong. I don't know whether it was the doings of Ames or Nintendo, but Ames only carried about Eight NES Titles at any particular moment. Eight Also-Ran NES Titles. So, while we were reading about The Adventures of Link and Mega Man, we could pop right on over to Ames to buy The Adventures of Bayou Billy and Sky Shark.

But Walmart carries bestsellers. It carries your Links and your Mega Men. And my hometown is finally getting a Walmart. Twenty years too late.

I guess that isn't really a harrowing encounter with mainstreamization, so much as a harrowing encounter with unmainstreamedization. And I suppose I should go on to say that this one particular moment of unhappiness as a child should shape your entire world view, but I lack the will.

Regardless, The Mainstream spends large amounts of money on video games, which benefits us all. Without The Mainstream there would be no Consoles. There would be no consumer video cards, sound cards, and the PC itself might not even exist. There would certainly be no indie games, no niche games, no hardcore games for Those Who Are Not The Mainstream For They are Hardcore to enjoy.

So, treat the video gaming The Mainstream much like you treat any other The Mainstream. It exists to draw attention to the medium, to attract money to the medium, and to attract more casual players that will turn into The Hardcore.

Be in The Mainstream, but not of The Mainstream

On my Belkin Nostromo N52 Speedpad

2005-12-28T20:58:00.000-05:00

I purchased a Belkin Nostromo N52 SpeedPad over a month ago at Best Buy for around 40 bucks. I meant to provide a review at some point.

One disclaimer : I gather the SpeedPad is more geared towards First Person Shooters. I'm out of the shooter scene right now, so I just tried it with an MMO (WoW) and an RTS (Dawn of War).

The Good

I liked the hard feel of the keys (if there's a display model in a store I'd suggest trying it out, it's awesome) The accompanying software was also well done.

But the best part of the device is a D-Pad that sits under your thumb. Brilliant.

The Bad

It took nearly half an hour to set up the SpeedPad for each game. Not that it's difficult to set up -- there are just so many key assignments to consider that it takes a while. It would have been nice to start with a game-specific default, but Belkin's website only had premade configurations for a handful of games.

The SpeedPad also provides a "shifting" mechanic that allows you to change key mappings. I didn't care for it. I like the idea, but the only obvious "shifting" key is a small red button that is by your thumb -- a small red button that you have to press so hard it actually moves the whole device sideways. Without the shifting mechanic, I never seemed to have enough keys.

The Ugly

To top it all off, mine was broken. The wheel only worked sporadically. For something that's supposed to be a 'premium gamer item' that was offputting. I returned my SpeedPad and asked for my money back.

With all that said, I would probably check out the successor if/when it gets made (The N52 was the successor to the N50), provided there are more keys or the shifting mechanic becomes easier to use.

Videogames Are Not Art

2005-12-19T18:36:00.000-05:00

I'm back, finally.

I actually hit 60 a week ago but I'm a slacker.

While I was on hiatus, the thing that I most missed writing about was the words of Roger Ebert (movie critic), concerning video games.

[T]he nature of the medium prevents it from moving beyond craftsmanship [however elegant or sophisticated] to the stature of art.

I have to say to Mr. Ebert : you are 100% correct.

Videogames are fun. They provide enjoyment to common people. They are relevant. They survive by being asthetically pleasing, instead of surviving because they have a massive industry that insists they are asthetically pleasing.

All of those things are completely contrary to what art is all about. Art typically requires some sort of welfare to survive. It is generally inaccessible to those who are not disciples of that particular type of art. It survives by leeching from the powerful (who are leeching from the proles).

Videogames are not art, and I'm not sure why anybody would want them to be. If videogames were art they would be extinct or irrelevant.

hiatus

2005-11-30T19:10:00.000-05:00

Must

Hit

Sixty

So far behind

2005-11-30T09:36:00.000-05:00

In talking about stuff.

I kind of took a long thanksgiving vacation.

I'll start back up again tonight. Cheers.

2005-11-22T20:11:00.000-05:00

I read an interesting article today in Wired, called "The Bad Lieutenant," written by Clive Thompson. It raises some interesting questions but has some problems that bother me.

In Doom, the game that began it all, you were a Marine. Then came a ceaseless parade of patriotic, heart-in-hand World War II games, in which you merrily blow the skulls off Japanese and German soldiers under the explicit authority of the U.S. of A. Yet anti-gaming critics didn't really explode with indignation until Grand Theft Auto 3 came along

First of all, Doom was very controversial. It was blamed by the media for the shooting at Columbine. It was controversial enough to draw the attention of lawmakers. Grand Theft Auto has received a similar amount of criticism from the same people, but the assertion that the criticism of GTA was an "explosion" next to Doom is overreaching.

Furthermore ... Doom was released in 1993. GTA 3 was released in 2001. The WWII video game craze didn't really hit until well after GTA, with Battlefield 1942, Call of Duty and many others coming out in 2003 and 2004.

Why weren't these detractors equally up in arms about, say, the Rainbow Six series? Because games lay bare the conservative logic that governs brutal acts. Violence -- even horrible, war-crimes-level stuff -- is perfectly fine as long as you commit it under the aegis of the state.

This is typical of a lot of stuff I've been reading lately. The "why is it ok for a soldier to shoot a terrorist, but it's not OK for a criminal to deliberately shoot an innocent person who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time?" I think if you are curious about that question, this isn't a good blog for you.

I'm not a fan of questioning common sense or questioning authority. Not that they are always right, but they typically are. It's better to tweak them where they need fixing and then leave well enough alone.

The irony is that, in reality, New York's actual police have moved in the opposite direction. They've become more successful at keeping the peace by being less bloodthirsty.

The success of the NYPD in recent years is usually attributed to the Broken Windows and Zero Tolerance policies that former Mayor Rudy Guiliani pushed. I don't think either of those policies have much to do with levels of bloodthirstiness.

huge gaming weekend

2005-11-21T22:11:00.000-05:00

* Continued to work on my warrior in World of Warcraft, although not much

* Bought a Belkin Nostromo SpeedPad N52

* Bought Homeworld II

* Bought Evil Genius, which I hope is the spiritual successor to Dungeon Keeper

* Bought Dawn of War

* Bought Dawn of War : Winter Assault (I'm a sucker for the Imperial Guard)

* Rebuilt my computer

* Played through the single player campaign in Dawn of War

There is much to say about most these things, but those ... words that I will say about those things will come later.

---

It is close to thanksgiving. The Jerks over at Penny Arcade had Thanksgiving four days early, when They Bought Their Own Skins Pack From XBox Live.

You may argue that event does not exactly satisfy Hubbardian standards. I would respond by calling you a liar and then kicking you in your face.

---

Behold! Jake Justice Strip One and Strip Two.

Germicide?

I had a dream that I had a Xbox 360

2005-11-17T21:10:00.002-05:00

I was happy in my dream.

Back in real life, I wouldn't really have anything to do with an Xbox 360. No interesting launch games.

Halfway through World of Warcraft

2005-11-16T22:21:00.000-05:00

I just hit 43.

If you look at this experience chart at wow.allakhazam.com, you can see that you hit 8170 same-level mob kills sometime during level 43. Since level 60 is the equivalent of 16340 same-level mob kills, I'm now halfway through.

Yipee.

Ivy League my ass

2005-11-15T20:38:00.000-05:00

Waiting for the drive-in at McDonalds. Some genius designed the drive-in so there is precisely one car-length between the car that is paying at the first window, and the car that is ordering at the speaker.

Inevitably, the person that just ordered pulls up overconservatively, so the person behind them is about six feet away from the speaker.

So, inevitably, I start shouting at the speaker. And the person in front of me has their window down and hears me shouting, and pulls up another eight feet so I can pull up six.

But tonight, I start shouting ... a long order too. No pull up.

I squint to make out the sticker in the rear window of the SUV.

Cornell.

Server Cleansing

2005-11-14T21:45:00.000-05:00

I learned a new term today.

"Server Cleansing" describes the act of corpse camping lowbies on your server, in the hopes of making them miserable enough to leave, thereby alleviating server queues.

I'm not sure which server had the bright idea first, but it seems to have the most currency on Sargeras. So I decided to make a level 1 alt to check out the story.

Just kidding. But seriously, people who try to make other people miserable so they will leave a server are idiots.

Our Boys

2005-11-11T15:22:00.000-05:00

It's vereran's day today.

I'm not sure what to say about it. I'm proud of our veterans, and of our boys serving right now. I hope to see them home -- soon and safe.

Thinking about today, a quick google search led me here.

This citation is one of many.

*MANN, JOE E.

Rank and organization: Private First Class, U.S. Army, Company H, 502d Parachute Infantry, 101st Airborne Division. Place and date: Best, Holland, 18 September 1944. Entered service at: Seattle, Wash. Birth: Rearden, Wash. G.O. No.: 73, 30 August 1945. Citation: He distinguished himself by conspicuous gallantry above and beyond the call of duty. On 18 September 1944, in the vicinity of Best., Holland, his platoon, attempting to seize the bridge across the Wilhelmina Canal, was surrounded and isolated by an enemy force greatly superior in personnel and firepower. Acting as lead scout, Pfc. Mann boldly crept to within rocket-launcher range of an enemy artillery position and, in the face of heavy enemy fire, destroyed an 88mm. gun and an ammunition dump. Completely disregarding the great danger involved, he remained in his exposed position, and, with his M-1 rifle, killed the enemy one by one until he was wounded 4 times. Taken to a covered position, he insisted on returning to a forward position to stand guard during the night. On the following morning the enemy launched a concerted attack and advanced to within a few yards of the position, throwing hand grenades as they approached. One of these landed within a few feet of Pfc. Mann. Unable to raise his arms, which were bandaged to his body, he yelled "grenade" and threw his body over the grenade, and as it exploded, died. His outstanding gallantry above and beyond the call of duty and his magnificent conduct were an everlasting inspiration to his comrades for whom he gave his life.

Thank you.

Enchanting

2005-11-11T07:36:00.000-05:00

I've decided to take up enchanting on my new Warrior. As a result, I didn't get much in the way of experience last night.

I think my big mistake was writing a simple computer program that told me how much each enchant would cost based on the prices on the AH. Useful in the long run. Killer to my progress.

Level 37

This will not be the same as last night's post

2005-11-09T22:00:00.000-05:00

I vaguely remember an interview with a musician from long ago. The musician told the interviewer that it was important to take a break from touring, because otherwise every song ends up being about "The Road".

Welcome to the second of many grinding-to-60 posts.

You would think that by my third character I would be good at this. But you would be wrong. I have grinding spots I really like from 41-50, and from 56-60. The other 46 levels are a vast meaningless wasteland to me.

Tonight I was fighting undead that were a little too high for me. Undead drop money and cloth (for bandages) but don't run away when they're almost dead. Very nice when the server is laggy, as it has been of late.

36.8

The Road to 60

2005-11-08T23:33:00.000-05:00

I'm working on a new character in World of Warcraft, a warrior. Grinding to 60 is fun.

No it isn't.

My first mistake was made a year ago when I rolled on a PvP server. I thought "Wow, how fun will end-game PvP be. Only on a PvP server will I be able to properly enjoy fighting the horde."

Then I started to play. "Ok, it's not that much fun to get repeatedly killed by a rogue 20 levels higher than me, but it will be worth it, for that awesome end-game PvP that I can only enjoy on a PvP server."

You know the rest of the story. Or maybe you don't. I got to 60. The honor system came out. It turns out that open field PvP sucks. Battlegrounds came out, and they were cool. But Battlegrounds on a PvE server are exactly the same as the ones on a PvP server.

Of course, I can say on the forums that I'm not on a "carebear" server. But having to run back to my corpse repeatedly because I was ganked by somebody twice my level doesn't really mean I have extra skill. I could just slam my hand in a car door every 20 minutes. There's an idea. Everyone who doesn't slam their hand in a car door every 20 minutes is now "carebear".

In fact, all it really means is that my death can provide validation for illiterate juvenile malcontents that shouldn't be getting validated. These guys are supposed to be quaffing drain cleaner, but because of me they're hanging on. It all just makes me ill.

So, here I am, a year later, getting another character up to 60, my 3rd. And again with the malcontents. I wish I had gone PvE.

Why I write about videogames

2005-11-07T18:23:00.000-05:00

I grew up in the 1980's. Unfortunately.

Anyway, back in these so called "80's", people couldn't get enough of the the science fiction movies. And they all would try so hard not to be like Star Wars. Which is totally different from today, when new science fiction movies ... try really hard not to be like Star Wars.

One of those movies was The Last Starfighter. I don't remember the story exactly because the movie was released 20 years ago and I never saw it. But the basic idea of the plot is that super-advanced aliens gave us video games so they could test our space-fighting abilities. Then when they needed new starfighter pilots, they had a pool of well-qualified, non-union pilots they could abduct from earth and probe.

That's why I'm so obsessed with videogames. I hope that someday an alien race will emerge from space, abduct me, and ask me to write about their videogames.

I don't think I've been impressing the aliens lately. I slacked off last week. I'm sorry aliens.

Dungeon Keeper 2 is dead

2005-11-02T08:03:00.000-05:00

Dug this game out last week. I was thinking about buying "Dawn of War" and thought ... well, if I have time to play Dawn of War I should have time to beat Dungeon Keeper 2 again ... I've beaten it once before, and have started-to-play-it-but-not-beaten-it a few more times.

In the year since I started playing WoW, I think I have purchased four to six games. The time I've put into those games ranges from ten hours to zero hours.

I'd been playing a dungeon a night in DK2. That lasted until last night, when I ran into my first harder dungeon. And this comes at a bad time, when I have a project in-game that really needs to be finished as quickly as possible.

Another game falls to the cruel and barbaric sword of WoW.

The Most Frightening Halloween Ever

2005-11-01T06:21:00.000-05:00

Last night, my level 22 character is killing mobs in Redridge despite horrendous lag.

I feel like I've done this before.

Indeed, the lag is back.

For roughly the first three months after World of Warcraft was released, our server was laggy nearly all the time. Unplayably laggy -- you could spend five minutes trying to loot a corpse, and eventually have to alt-f4 out of the game (logging out didn't work because of the lag).

Then Blizzard opened up a transfer from our server to another, and I guess enough people left, and things have been bearable to good ever since.

Well, not quite 'ever since'. The lag resurfaced suddenly about a month ago. It came at a bad time, and it has kept my guild from advancing further in PvE content. We lose a few nights every week to lag, and that's just enough to keep us from moving forward.

But that lag is just junior league lag, soft lag, if you will. Two to ten seconds after you cast a spell, the spell finally casts. That's frustrating but can be overcome occasionally. Last night was an entirely different matter. It was 'hard lag', the one where you spend five minutes looting and then have to alt-f4 because you can't log out lag.

I can only take so much of this.

The First Rule of WoW Raid Composition

2005-10-28T12:05:00.000-04:00

Have between four and six people from every class.

Weekly, some knucklehead in the forums decides that they, Raid Leader A, have figured out the only way to beat Boss X is to take fewer (or none) of Class Y to the encounter.

This runs into a serious problem right out of the gate. Namely that, since other guilds have beaten Boss X with a respectable representation of Class Y, the weak point in the chain is most likely Raid Leader A.

This recurrence aside, it's important to understand the reasons why we insist on this numerical constraint.

Reason One : Gear.

If you only take two of Class Y, you'll soon find yourself throwing gear meant for Class Y away. Even if you rotate people in and out, it doesn't do the raid much good to have good gear sitting out.

At the opposite extreme, if you bring eight of Class Y, you'll find them getting geared very slowly considered to other classes. This means, among other things, that you'll either have to deal with bad gear on Class Y forever, or you'll have to continue running instances to gear Class Y long after all other classes are finished.

Reason Two : Inter-class Competition.

Taking at least four, and no more than six of every class should reduce infighting among classes with similar roles. No class is treated too well and no class is treated too poorly.

Reason Three : Blizzard.

From the posts made by the Community Managers, it is pretty clear that Blizzard doesn't see conflict between classes the way players do. Blizzard feels different classes are complimentary, while the players often feel contentious towards other classes.

As with any other game, it's important to understand the view of the developer and take that into consideration while playing. I think Blizzard assumes you have four to six people from every class, and instances become significantly harder when you don't.

For example, I play a warlock. In Molten Core warlocks are dynamite on Garr and Majordomo. Any guild that said "We don't need 4 warlocks in the raid" made those encounters much more difficult for themselves.

Trust Blizzard, and run instances with a well-balanced raid group.

On The Venture Brothers

2005-10-28T10:50:00.000-04:00

Saying The Venture Brothers is one of the best TV shows ever is akin to claiming Jesus is one of Christianity's most important Messiahs.

It is a dangerous blasphemy and a sacrilege.

And I would respond to the speaker of either statement the same way. By driving a bulldozer swarming with jack-booted shock clerics through the wall of their parent's basement, at which point the heretic could be detained and reeducated.

Not quitting WoW after all

2005-10-27T10:19:00.000-04:00

I think I'm going to keep playing WoW. Every time I think about quitting I think about how much I love playing MMORPG's. I try to think of another one I'd like to play but none really come to mind. So it's back to WoW.

It was much easier to quit FFXI. I knew WoW was coming out, and I sold all my gear and gave the money away. Never really tempted to play again.

Jack Thompson times 100

2005-10-27T01:22:00.000-04:00

You thought Jack Thompson was bad? You ain't seen nothing yet. Now the UN is getting involved ...

The US appears set on a collision course with the rest of the world, this time over a treaty to promote cultural diversity that Washington claims could provide protectionist cover for restrictions on US exports of films and television programmes

Basically, this means that governments have another excuse to skim more cash off the top, and games are likely to feel the heat. It means fewer games will be bought, which means fewer games will be made. It means when the game companies from your country start to suck, they will get the government to raise prices on the good cames coming in from foreign countries instead of making better games..

It will make Jack Thompson's outrageous lawsuit demands seem insignificant by comparison.

That would be like ... 100 Jack Thompsons

Is this the end of WoW?

2005-10-26T01:50:00.000-04:00

I'm thinking I'm cooked. This might be the best MMORPG ever made, but I'm coming up on a year, and that's more than enough.

Originally I played so I could PvP with friends and relatives. But they mostly quit. So I raided with my guild. I watched all the drama and participated in some of it.

But that's over now. Time to find a new game to beat into the ground.

Think I want to try out Dawn of War and the new expansion, Winter Assault. I always loved the Warhammer 40k universe. I also played a great turn-based strategy game in the day, Chaos Gate, that was a 40k license.

And who can forget the worst game I have ever owned, Space Hulk, which was also a 40k license. If you ever see a used copy of this game being sold in a store, shoot the manager of the store. No jury of nerds would ever convict you.

Selling out to the man

2005-10-21T19:06:00.000-04:00

The man is all like "Turn comments on for your blog."

And I'm all like "No way am I going to sell out, man."

And then the man comes back at me "You can't beat the man."

Indeed, you cannot.

My Awesome Job Should Also Be Cushy

2005-10-20T22:22:00.000-04:00

This article at joystiq takes, I think, the appropriate tone towards a circulating email, allegedly from a disgruntled ex-Electronics Boutique (EB) employee.

Some of the complaints seem outrageous, if true (roaches in used game systems!), but some of them are just whiney.

You see the same things from these overworked EA employees. People want to work in EB and get discounts on games. People want to work for EA programming games. These people are not treated overly kindly because these are highly desirable jobs and they don't exactly require the cream of the crop in their respective fields.

I don't get 12 oz. mouse

2005-10-20T02:12:00.000-04:00

12 ounce mouse is a new Adult Swim cartoon.

I don't really get it.

Usually with these ... cartoons ... I'm not a fan at first, but, after time, I take a shining to them.

Don't think that's going to happen with this one.

There were two things about it I really liked about it though

It was only 15 minutes long.
The final 13 minutes, which I spent slamming my hand in a car door.

I am going to run over any squirrel I see for at least a couple weeks.

World of Warcraft Leaked 1.9 Patch Notes

2005-10-19T00:36:00.000-04:00

I don't know if I'm a WoW addict or not, but this much is clear : I play freaking all the time.

In my many hours in the game, I've made some powerful friends. Powerful friends who do very unethical things. Like passing me a very early rough draft of the World of Warcraft 1.9 patch notes.

CAYDIEM, THIS IS A GOOD FIRST DRAFT, I MADE SOME COMMENTS.

--EYONIX

Patch 1.9 Changes

Ahn'Quiraj

Deep within the hot, beige, boring deserts of Silithus, a new 40-man instance blah blah blah. This should be an exciting blah blah blah. Here's an idea ... instead of clearing an instance in two months, why don't you go meet a girl?

Also there's a 20 man instance for losers. There's something for everyone.

Kill All Imperialist Americans Day

Is that a Capitalist hiding in your inventory? It just might be. Check with Captain Chairman Mao in Ironforge or Stone Guard Undead Charmain Mao in Orgrimmar for a week filled with bloodthirsty jingoism!

-- Question for Eyonix about this :
-- 1) Bloodthirsty Jingoism? Isn't that a pejorative term in Mandarin?
-- 2) You're sure we're only doing this one in China, right?

-- ANSWERS FOR CAYDIEM ABOUT THIS
-- 1) ONLY A FEW OF THE FORTY-TWO WORDS FOR THAT ARE BAD
-- 2) LOLZAROS DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH CASUAL WHINERS COMPLAIN ON FORUMS B4 NEXT PATCH

Paladin 1.9 Rework
-- Due to significant talent changes, Paladins will have all talent points refunded and can be respent. Training costs for all talent spell/ability replacements have been significantly reduced.
-- Paladins will be deleted in patch 1.10

Hero Classes Announced

Having trouble ganking level 30's? No longer! Hero classes are now available for the residents of Azeroth.

Scrub Class ==> Hero Class
Druid ==> Shaman
Hunter ==> Shaman
Mage ==> Shaman
Paladin ==> Shaman*
Priest ==> Shaman
Rogue ==> Shaman
Shaman ==> Two Shamans
Warrior ==> Shaman
Warlock ==> Shaman

Kill Your Dog

To the next person who posts in the forum that they are quitting WoW (instead of just quitting) ... I will go to your house and kill your dog.

UI
-- A Much Improved Meeting Stone UI has been added so you can more clearly see that, no, nobody is ever going to do BRD with your woefully-unattuned alt hunter.

Items

-- (TODO : Nerf at least a few accidentally useful low-level items here, e.g. Ornate Spyglass now has a chance to kill the user with double durability loss, or free-action pots can now cause items from inventory or bank to be
permanently lost, etc.)
-- Engineers and Alchemists will now find new schematics and recipes at honored, revered, and exalted with various factions throughout the world. HAHA just kidding (EYONIX SAYS I LOVE LINCOLN LOLGZ)
-- New trainer recipes for some kind of leatherworking we probably made up (EYONIX : I SUGGEST LOLGONSCALE) are now available throughout Azeroth.

Warlocks
-- Death Coil - Death Coil cooldown has been lowered to 30 seconds, and the non-diminishing fear effect now lasts for up to 9 seconds. Accordingly, the mana cost has been raised to 7256.
-- Warlocks who use Firestones, Spellstones, or Soul Fire now have a chance to win great prizes, like one of those crap Box-Looking cars designed as a joke but sold like they're real. The Grand Prize is an all-expense paid trip to Blizzcon 2006! ("Blizzcon 2006 : This time we promise ... no Offspring")
-- Shadow Bolt - Shadow Bolt has been converted to Shadow Bolt Volley, an insta-cast multi-target global cooldown spell which does the same damage as a normal shadow bolt and gets the same bonus from spell damage and shadow damage gear as a normal shadow bolt. Mana cost has been raised to 80,000.

Bugs
-- (Fix a few funny bugs that the dev team probably just made up)
-- Equipping the Choker of the Fire Lord no longer can no longer spawn ten Invincible Super-Ragnaros' in Coldrige Valley
-- Grey Items will now be listed under their correct categories at the Auction House. Previously they caused Paladins to be boring and slow to level.

* These Shamans will also be deleted with 1.10

Death of Blogging Imminent

2005-10-18T08:36:00.000-04:00

When historians look back at our time I feel pretty confident this blog will be singled out as the beginning of the end of blogging, the imminentization of the blogschaton, the fourth horseman of the blogpocalypse.

See how I used normal words, but incorporated the word "blog" into them? As I understand, that's what you have to do if you want to be a cool blogger. That and have botulism injected into the lining of you stomach. I am having this done in Mexico over the weekend. The most important part of my blog that you need to understand -- I'm prepared to make almost any sacrifice to be cool.

If I understand correctly, this blog will mostly be about video games, with some of the lesser aspects of culture and technology thrown in, at no charge to you.

5:36 AM? I'm never going to be cool until I have this timezone issue taken care of. Which is to say I'm going to have PST killed and dumped in a river.