World of Warcraft Leaked 1.9 Patch Notes
I don't know if I'm a WoW addict or not, but this much is clear : I play freaking all the time.
In my many hours in the game, I've made some powerful friends. Powerful friends who do very unethical things. Like passing me a very early rough draft of the World of Warcraft 1.9 patch notes.
CAYDIEM, THIS IS A GOOD FIRST DRAFT, I MADE SOME COMMENTS.
--EYONIX
Patch 1.9 Changes
Ahn'Quiraj
Deep within the hot, beige, boring deserts of Silithus, a new 40-man instance blah blah blah. This should be an exciting blah blah blah. Here's an idea ... instead of clearing an instance in two months, why don't you go meet a girl?
Also there's a 20 man instance for losers. There's something for everyone.
Kill All Imperialist Americans Day
Is that a Capitalist hiding in your inventory? It just might be. Check with Captain Chairman Mao in Ironforge or Stone Guard Undead Charmain Mao in Orgrimmar for a week filled with bloodthirsty jingoism!
-- Question for Eyonix about this :
-- 1) Bloodthirsty Jingoism? Isn't that a pejorative term in Mandarin?
-- 2) You're sure we're only doing this one in China, right?
-- ANSWERS FOR CAYDIEM ABOUT THIS
-- 1) ONLY A FEW OF THE FORTY-TWO WORDS FOR THAT ARE BAD
-- 2) LOLZAROS DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH CASUAL WHINERS COMPLAIN ON FORUMS B4 NEXT PATCH
Paladin 1.9 Rework
-- Due to significant talent changes, Paladins will have all talent points refunded and can be respent. Training costs for all talent spell/ability replacements have been significantly reduced.
-- Paladins will be deleted in patch 1.10
Hero Classes Announced
Having trouble ganking level 30's? No longer! Hero classes are now available for the residents of Azeroth.
Scrub Class ==> Hero Class
Druid ==> Shaman
Hunter ==> Shaman
Mage ==> Shaman
Paladin ==> Shaman*
Priest ==> Shaman
Rogue ==> Shaman
Shaman ==> Two Shamans
Warrior ==> Shaman
Warlock ==> Shaman
Kill Your Dog
To the next person who posts in the forum that they are quitting WoW (instead of just quitting) ... I will go to your house and kill your dog.
UI
-- A Much Improved Meeting Stone UI has been added so you can more clearly see that, no, nobody is ever going to do BRD with your woefully-unattuned alt hunter.
Items
-- (TODO : Nerf at least a few accidentally useful low-level items here, e.g. Ornate Spyglass now has a chance to kill the user with double durability loss, or free-action pots can now cause items from inventory or bank to be
permanently lost, etc.)
-- Engineers and Alchemists will now find new schematics and recipes at honored, revered, and exalted with various factions throughout the world. HAHA just kidding (EYONIX SAYS I LOVE LINCOLN LOLGZ)
-- New trainer recipes for some kind of leatherworking we probably made up (EYONIX : I SUGGEST LOLGONSCALE) are now available throughout Azeroth.
Warlocks
-- Death Coil - Death Coil cooldown has been lowered to 30 seconds, and the non-diminishing fear effect now lasts for up to 9 seconds. Accordingly, the mana cost has been raised to 7256.
-- Warlocks who use Firestones, Spellstones, or Soul Fire now have a chance to win great prizes, like one of those crap Box-Looking cars designed as a joke but sold like they're real. The Grand Prize is an all-expense paid trip to Blizzcon 2006! ("Blizzcon 2006 : This time we promise ... no Offspring")
-- Shadow Bolt - Shadow Bolt has been converted to Shadow Bolt Volley, an insta-cast multi-target global cooldown spell which does the same damage as a normal shadow bolt and gets the same bonus from spell damage and shadow damage gear as a normal shadow bolt. Mana cost has been raised to 80,000.
Bugs
-- (Fix a few funny bugs that the dev team probably just made up)
-- Equipping the Choker of the Fire Lord no longer can no longer spawn ten Invincible Super-Ragnaros' in Coldrige Valley
-- Grey Items will now be listed under their correct categories at the Auction House. Previously they caused Paladins to be boring and slow to level.
* These Shamans will also be deleted with 1.10
In my many hours in the game, I've made some powerful friends. Powerful friends who do very unethical things. Like passing me a very early rough draft of the World of Warcraft 1.9 patch notes.
CAYDIEM, THIS IS A GOOD FIRST DRAFT, I MADE SOME COMMENTS.
--EYONIX
Patch 1.9 Changes
Ahn'Quiraj
Deep within the hot, beige, boring deserts of Silithus, a new 40-man instance blah blah blah. This should be an exciting blah blah blah. Here's an idea ... instead of clearing an instance in two months, why don't you go meet a girl?
Also there's a 20 man instance for losers. There's something for everyone.
Kill All Imperialist Americans Day
Is that a Capitalist hiding in your inventory? It just might be. Check with Captain Chairman Mao in Ironforge or Stone Guard Undead Charmain Mao in Orgrimmar for a week filled with bloodthirsty jingoism!
-- Question for Eyonix about this :
-- 1) Bloodthirsty Jingoism? Isn't that a pejorative term in Mandarin?
-- 2) You're sure we're only doing this one in China, right?
-- ANSWERS FOR CAYDIEM ABOUT THIS
-- 1) ONLY A FEW OF THE FORTY-TWO WORDS FOR THAT ARE BAD
-- 2) LOLZAROS DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH CASUAL WHINERS COMPLAIN ON FORUMS B4 NEXT PATCH
Paladin 1.9 Rework
-- Due to significant talent changes, Paladins will have all talent points refunded and can be respent. Training costs for all talent spell/ability replacements have been significantly reduced.
-- Paladins will be deleted in patch 1.10
Hero Classes Announced
Having trouble ganking level 30's? No longer! Hero classes are now available for the residents of Azeroth.
Scrub Class ==> Hero Class
Druid ==> Shaman
Hunter ==> Shaman
Mage ==> Shaman
Paladin ==> Shaman*
Priest ==> Shaman
Rogue ==> Shaman
Shaman ==> Two Shamans
Warrior ==> Shaman
Warlock ==> Shaman
Kill Your Dog
To the next person who posts in the forum that they are quitting WoW (instead of just quitting) ... I will go to your house and kill your dog.
UI
-- A Much Improved Meeting Stone UI has been added so you can more clearly see that, no, nobody is ever going to do BRD with your woefully-unattuned alt hunter.
Items
-- (TODO : Nerf at least a few accidentally useful low-level items here, e.g. Ornate Spyglass now has a chance to kill the user with double durability loss, or free-action pots can now cause items from inventory or bank to be
permanently lost, etc.)
-- Engineers and Alchemists will now find new schematics and recipes at honored, revered, and exalted with various factions throughout the world. HAHA just kidding (EYONIX SAYS I LOVE LINCOLN LOLGZ)
-- New trainer recipes for some kind of leatherworking we probably made up (EYONIX : I SUGGEST LOLGONSCALE) are now available throughout Azeroth.
Warlocks
-- Death Coil - Death Coil cooldown has been lowered to 30 seconds, and the non-diminishing fear effect now lasts for up to 9 seconds. Accordingly, the mana cost has been raised to 7256.
-- Warlocks who use Firestones, Spellstones, or Soul Fire now have a chance to win great prizes, like one of those crap Box-Looking cars designed as a joke but sold like they're real. The Grand Prize is an all-expense paid trip to Blizzcon 2006! ("Blizzcon 2006 : This time we promise ... no Offspring")
-- Shadow Bolt - Shadow Bolt has been converted to Shadow Bolt Volley, an insta-cast multi-target global cooldown spell which does the same damage as a normal shadow bolt and gets the same bonus from spell damage and shadow damage gear as a normal shadow bolt. Mana cost has been raised to 80,000.
Bugs
-- (Fix a few funny bugs that the dev team probably just made up)
-- Equipping the Choker of the Fire Lord no longer can no longer spawn ten Invincible Super-Ragnaros' in Coldrige Valley
-- Grey Items will now be listed under their correct categories at the Auction House. Previously they caused Paladins to be boring and slow to level.
* These Shamans will also be deleted with 1.10
posted by gnomicide at 12:36 AM
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